Women's Retreat Recap! {And A New Outlook On Friendship}

This little space on the web holds so much of my heart. When I go back to read through past posts {which I do} I'm reminded not only of the beautiful things as it relates to my family, but I'm also reminded of the things that God has done in my personal life and how much my life has been greatly enhanced over the past year since we became planted in our current church home {I wrote a little bit about that journey here; you can find more under my "Christianity" link}.

The word "fulfillment" is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of what this church has given me. Entering into this family was something that happened at a much needed time in my {our} life. Among other wonderful things that have transpired since first visiting one year ago this month, is the friendships that we have formed. We truly feel that we are doing life with people arm and arm.

I've never been one to have a close circle of many girlfriends. I just didn't see it positively working for those around me and it was clear why...all of those "friends" [at one time or another] became competitive, gossipy, catty, jealous and judgmental of one another. The friendships didn't seem pure. So why be in them? I have always chosen my friendships carefully - and now that I am giving it thought, I observe people for a bit before moving forward in getting to know them more. Which means...I am naturally inclined to be guarded at first and keep people at bay before bringing them close. I'm not sure this is the best method to follow but it has meant that my friendships usually evolve over time, rather than being instantaneous, and that's the pace that I have been most comfortable with.

Since becoming a wife and a mother, I really yearned for quality women to come into my life. Admittingly, I silently hoped for it, instead of outwardly praying for it. I knew that God knew the desires of my heart and so I just "waited". And waited, and waited and waited. And then I realized I should probably be intentional about praying for my desire to come to fruition. It was around this time that we joined our current church home...and my prayer came to pass.

My assumption about how hard it would be to form real relationships with the women within my church {because I was so jaded from past experiences at my former church} was dismissed within a short time - and I could feel my walls coming down. They were intentional in a genuine, disarming way, about wanting to get to know me....and what had been a fault of mine, in that I can spend quite a bit of time dissecting people in my head, found that I was now accepting people for who they were - just as they were accepting me for who I am. In my new friendships, I have learned a great lesson. And wow, what fulfilling friendships they have become.

I didn't plan on making all of the above a preface to the photos of our AMAZING Women's Retreat - but perhaps it was intended that I wrote all of that as maybe there's someone who will read this and can relate. All of the women that I was surrounded by this past weekend hold a place in my heart. Some of us may have deeper levels of friendships because of the length of time in which we have known someone, or shared commonalities means that time spent together happens more often than with others, but in that circle of women, you know that any one of them will be there for you, without hesitation, for any reason at all.

I took hundreds of photos over the weekend but as to not overload you with a bunch of pictures of people you don't even know, I'll keep them to a minimum ; )

Thursday afternoon, Sunny {our Pastor's wife} and I carpooled up to Big Canoe together. I sent her a text earlier that morning forewarning her that when she arrived it would look like I was moving out of my home! Ha! I was in charge of "atmosphere" so I took A LOT of stuff!

The homes were as beautiful as they looked in the photos. After we dropped our stuff in our rooms, we immediately got hard at work, making food and prepping everything to look beautiful for when the other women arrived...

After welcoming the women and everyone settling in with some food and delicious desserts, we played pictionary before our evening session - and let me tell you...it was hilarious!!...

We had a session Friday morning, and as with every session, we do a fun ice-breaker game beforehand. This one was a staring competition. Oh man....it was GREAT!! On the left is our Worship Leader, Salie, who started singing to Mariam {on the right} hoping to get her to blink and break her stare! It didn't work. Mariam has four kids and has that "mother's look" that none of her children, or anyone else, can break! Lol!....

Our morning session was wonderful and we were reminded that we all share the commonality of having God's name tatoo'd on our hearts. After the session, everyone had a few hours of free time to do leisurely activities if they so chose. Most people went hiking. At 1:30 p.m. we all gathered back together for a light lunch that consisted of a mini salad bar!...

Our evening session started with another fun ice-breaker of who could blow the biggest bubble. It was COMEDY!....

We played some fun group games for a few hours and then it was onto dinner! {Yes, we ate a lot!}. This time we took to the grill!....




Some women stayed indoors to make mashed potatoes and other side dishes....

Here's a pic of me and my roomie, Laura Jane! A young lady with a big heart! She is in our church's school of ministry program. I have sooo loved getting to know her!!....

And here is me and Dawn! Dawn and her husband are an intricate part of our church. They have five children but are so actively involved - huge servants with big hearts! We just love them!! We sit next to them every Sunday : ) ....

Me and my girlfriend Rhonda!!!! Rhonda, I love you!!!!! Whether we're at the movies, out to lunch or dinner, or just sitting next to each other, we have a great time! I can't get enough of this girl! She has a hilarious husband and they have two little boys, one of which is Ilah's exact age : )...

After dinner on Friday night, we had a great evening session, and then it was time to set up the hot chocolate bar and get ready for our "Friday Night Flannel Fashion Show". Oh.my.goodness. It was HYSTERICAL. But I'm keeping those photos private ; )

Saturday was our departure day. After breakfast we had an INCREDIBLE morning session....but not before doing another fun ice-breaker game. Do you see the cookies being passed around?...

They were for this game....

Try to get the cookie from your eye into your mouth!....

Our Saturday morning session was powerful. Our other sessions focused on girlfriends, and loving one another, but now it was time to focus on ourselves. Every woman received a piece of paper to write down her dreams on....five things that you are believing God for. We were encouraged to dream big because after-all, we have a BIG God! While I was writing down my dreams, I got so emotional...to the point where I was sobbing and just couldn't control it. I just felt the spirit of God so strong as I was writing out what I was believing Him for and His presence overtook me. I felt though, that that was coming. I rarely cry and when I do, especially in a setting in which intentional prayer is taking place, it's as if my tears are carrying me from one place to another in the spiritual world. When I looked up, I discovered that I wasn't alone in my tears. There were several other woman who were being touched by God in the same way. After our dreams were written out, we turned to the person to our right and privately prayed out-loud {but quietly} over her dreams. Oh wow. It was amazing. AMAZING. Such a bonding moment too. After that we then wrote down five things that we wanted to release and give to God. We then placed that piece of paper inside of a tiny envelope and attached them to balloons....

And together, we released them....

Out on the deck, surrounded by the beautiful nature that God created, our Pastor concluded our weekend together...

Set up in the living room, was a cork board with envelopes pinned on it. One of the things that we did throughout our stay, was leave little inspiring notes to each other, letting everyone know a beautiful quality that we see in them. At the end of the retreat, every woman took home an envelope with their name on it and was reminded of how beautiful and valuable they are!...

This weekend a few things happened: God poured into us, and we poured into each other. And friendships were taken to a new level.

I enjoyed assisting with the planning of this retreat, and baking delicious desserts to be enjoyed throughout the weekend....but what I mostly loved was the way in which I felt a part of these women's lives, and truly feeling that they are a part of mine. The notes that I received were so touching. So, so, so touching. I am immensely thankful for the sisterhood that I have come into.

Heading to Big Canoe!

This afternoon I head to Big Canoe for our church's first Women's Retreat. I have loved being a part of the planning team and being actively involved in bringing this retreat to fruition!

The planning began over the summer and among other things, I undertook the challenge to find the perfect place for our women's retreat [within our budget]. I went through numerous sites, thereby viewing numerous properties, and crunched numbers like crazy to ensure we were staying in budget....then there was the issue of finding a place large enough to hold ALL of us {which didn't happen - the few that could were janky}, or at least find two properties that were in close proximity to each other {which I did!}. Finally, in September, we secured two beautiful homes that provide the perfect accommodations for our women's retreat. Here are a few pictures of one of the homes....

I'm not just looking forward to this refreshing time away, and the fun things that we have planned, but I'm excited to see what God has in store for all of us!

I made a variety of homemade desserts all day yesterday and last night in preparation for the dessert spread that I'll be doing for tonight's "arrival night". It was a bit of a challenge yesterday baking multiple desserts while also tending to Ilah - who, of all days, was super clingy {and only took a 1 1/2 hr nap}. But knowing that I would be away, I loved up on my sweet girl and we played games, read books, watched her favorite cartoons, had lunch together, etc....and then I slipped off to the kitchen occasionally when she got preoccupied with a toy ; )

Ilah will be in good hands with her daddy {who, himself, went on a 3 day overnight men's conference the week before last with our church - and he was also gone all last week out of state for business...this momma has been flying solo and balancing a lot!} - but I will miss seeing my sweet girl's adorable face for 2 1/2 days, and kissing her cheeks goodnight! Dele's too ; )

A cold front has come through Atlanta, and although it now feels more like winter than fall, it makes for the perfect weather for our retreat!

I'll be back to blogging next Monday!

Enjoy the rest of your week...and I hope that the weekend ahead is a wonderful one for you!

Married Life: It's All That...{But It's Also More}

When you found the one who you confidently believe was purposed to be your mate for life - and then you enter into marriage and begin your life together....there is so much excitement in that, isn't there? Being married to a partner who you adore, and who adores you, is a beautiful thing. You anticipate filling your years with an abundant amount of happiness, great times, special moments, and unforgettable memories to cherish. Together you enjoy date nights, vacations, birthdays, holidays, celebrating life-changing milestones {a new home, a child, etc.} and then every year when your anniversary rolls around, you are reminded of your love for eachother, which has only continued to grow more and more as the years go on.

Sounds nice doesn't it?

But that's only a part of what married life is, and what it brings.

Married life is also a partnership in which sacrafices must be made, compromises must occur, quarrels will inevidatebly happen, and miscommunication will be had. Some days you may even feel under-appreciated, and sometimes the passion goes missing. Sometimes you will struggle, sometimes you will cry in frusteration and sometimes you will lay in bed wondering what will change or what will always stay the same.

You can still enjoy being married and still feel any of the above emotions at the same time. What that means is....

Married life is not a constant high.

Aware of this reality, last week I picked up a book that had been untouched on my bookcase for several years. The title of the book {which is from a Christian perspective} is called "20 Keys To A Happier Marriage" {by Mike Murdock}. The book had been gifted to us {when we got married} by one of Dele's groomsmen, who just recently got married himself.

When I inserted my nose into the pages of that book, I was deliberate about getting something out of it. I wasn't looking for recommendations on how to change my husband...I was focusing on myself - and how we could elevate our marriage even more. Simply put: You have to work at keeping the tank full in your marriage. And you have to be intentional about it.

The book was full of many good nuggets. I thought I would share with you some of the things that I highlighted:

• Celebrate your marriage. Protect your marriage. Make your marriage the priority focus of your life.

• Your home has an enemy. Anything good is despised by everything evil. So you have an invisible adversary.
  


• Satan continually observes the plans of God. Anything receiving the attention of God instantly receives the attention of hell.
  


• Using your weaknesses, the enemy inspires unrealistic expectations, and diverts your focus from servanthood to self-absorption. He fuels your imagination through television and relationships…until the presence of God is splintered and ceases to be the goal of your union.
  


• Become the watchman over your home.
  


• Invest significant time in visualizing the perfect atmosphere. What is the dream environment that you want to be in your home? Find pictures in magazines or books that clarify this inner photograph.
  


• Choose four marriage conferences to attend annually. This preventative planning will prevent the decay of your relationship.
  


• Make your church the center of your activities, interest, and time. Always make your spiritual life the first priority of your time and attention.
  


• Invest time to listen, learn and evaluate the suggestions, needs, and desires of your mate and children. Listen long enough for the hidden emotions to be expressed. Listen carefully enough to collect sufficient understanding. Listen accurately so that you can assess the true needs of your mate…that nobody has been able to meet.
  


• When you focus on the admirable differences of your mate, you will instantly generate hope, warmth and cheerfulness.
  


• List 7 favorable qualities of your mate. Document them. Do not trivialize any of them. If you can list more, do so. If these qualities were missing, your life would certainly become painful…in a day.
  


• Verbalize your recognition of those qualities to your mate and others. This births a climate of acceptance and caring where the seeds of love and loyalty can grow.
  


• Anger is usually disappointment.
  


• Prayer is reaching for divine assistance. Nothing impresses the heart of the Father more.
  


• Establish a time to prayer together each morning.
  


• Identify the person or method that satan uses to introduce you to anger, agitation or contention. Is it a tv show that stirs up jealousy, envy or fear? Is there a relationship that feeds conflict and unrest in your marriage? Pinpoint it honestly…then address it in the privacy of your prayer life.
  


• Stay discreet about problems you are experiencing in your marriage. Bad news is remembered longer than good news. So years after you have resolved a conflict, others will continue to focus on it. The wise never discuss their problems with someone incapable of solving them. Your chosen confidante should be competent and discreet…with a proven history of competent counsel.
  


• Invest time in discovering the goals, dreams, gifts and potential of your mate. Your mate is the gold mine divinely bestowed upon you. God gave you what you needed…not what you necessarily earned. You were attracted to the obvious and apparent. Their greatest legacy to you is hidden, invisible and will require serious and patient pursuit.

• Do money-talks together routinely. Discuss all financial matters honestly and completely. Integrity matters. Pray over your goals, plans and opportunities to solve problems for others.
  


• Define clearly your expectations of each other.
  


• God designed marriage to be a safe haven in a dangerous world. When God links you with the mate of his choice, you will not have to live guarded, afraid and constantly in fear.
  


• Play as hard as you work. The rhythm and regularity of your stress-free fun season will actually increase your productivity.

Together, my husband and I look forward to putting these things to practice and seeing our marriage flourish all the more.

I Am

Last night our church had a one night women’s event called “Every Woman”. I had been looking forward to going for weeks but in all honesty, as the day progressed, so did my janky mood. With multiple errands to run and lots to do, and only having sat down for literally one hour yesterday, I found myself trying to talk myself out of going. I was feeling depleted. Which made realize that was all the more reason why I should go. If I wanted to simply be off my feet and exhale, hey, why not be off my feet in church doing that right? I invited my mom to come along with me; talking and laughing throughout the forty-five minute drive there was a wonderful start to a great evening. We had a great guest speaker, Vicki Simpson {all the way from Australia}, who ministered a message that ‘every woman’ truly needed to hear. She opened up her message sharing a story about when she was a worship leader in her church. She would fast and pray the day before she would sing, desiring for God’s anointing to flow through her. One day after service, a gentleman {who wasn’t so gentle} told her that she had an extremely shrieky voice. His insult caused her to become very self conscious and she thought that surely everyone else thought the same thing about her. From that day forward, she started to sing in a lower pitch. It was an unnatural range for her – and her newly adapted voice ended up causing her immense throat pain and frequent voice loss. She saw a specialist who ran tests but nothing came back abnormal; he then referred her to a speech therapist who immediately diagnosed the problem: “Dear, do you know that you are speaking lower than your normal pitch?” Obviously she knew that. Her personal story segwayed into asking the question: How many of us are living a life lower than how we are called to live it?

She spoke about identity and how many of us may have been mislabeled by others…perhaps we have started to believe those negative things that have been stamped on us. And in doing so, we aren’t living out the full plan for our life. We have been apprehended by other people’s thoughts and opinions of us and have become bound to them. Perhaps something was spoken over us in our adolescent years, or perhaps by someone in the church, and we have taken those words as truth. She gave a wonderful mental visual of our Father God walking around the room and peeling those “labels” off of us. Because…

THERE IS NOTHING MORE POWERFUL THAN A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHO SHE IS.

She posed the question: How do you identify yourself? Normally a woman’s first response may be…I’m a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, etc. But…IF ALL THOSE THINGS WERE TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU…WHO WOULD YOU BE?

That question hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt like I could answer that question in an entirely different way before I got married and had a child. I have defined my role in life now as a wife and a mother…but what about who I was before that transition came? What about my role in the kingdom of God? What about who I simply am?

We, as women, can sometimes have a tendency to sink back when it comes to stepping into all of who we are. So today, I am choosing to remind myself of who I am.

I am a woman who has a purpose.

I am a woman who hopes to have a positive influence.

I am a woman who is persistent.

I am a woman who desires to strive to please the Lord.

I am a woman who knows that there are seasons in life – and that I meant to take away something from each of them.

I am a woman who is an overcomer.

I am a woman who has favor with God.

I am a woman who is strong.

I am a woman who challenges myself to be the best I can be.

I am a woman who is passionate about life.

I am a woman who hurts when others do.

I am a woman who has been covered by grace and has been forgiven.

I am a woman who is wise.

I am a woman who is gifted.
I am a woman who has a discerning spirit.

I am a woman who desires to fulfill the plans and purposes for my life - even though admittingly, I’m nervous about what some of those things are and what they will require.

I am a woman who wants to come into the full knowing of who I am in God and confidently walk in all of those ways.

Today, reflect on who YOU are…don’t wait for someone else to tell you, because you might be waiting a long time. Aim to PURPOSELY, and PURPOSEFULLY dwell on the woman that you were created to be…not just today, but every day. Let’s begin to identify with our positive traits that we may have put on the shelf; and see them first, not last, in ourselves. Let’s expand our identity. Let’s validate ourselves and bring to light all the wonderful things that make us who we are.

Encountering God, Part 2

Lately my Monday posts highlight our weekend and include lots of photos, but this time I want to document the awesome encounter that we have had with God over the past several days.

Friday night concluded our church's "ENCOUNTER" conference. I spoke a little about it in my last post. Man oh man, was Friday night's service POWERFUL. Some life changing things were imparted into Dele and I.

Leading up to this conference, my spirit had been stirring. Aside from having a heart of great expectancy, and aside from yearning to hear from the Lord {even if it would be His still small voice speaking on the inside of me}, I wanted something great to happen that would cause a permanent shift in me. A shift that would propel me into a new beginning in which the plans and purposes that I am called to do in this season of my life would begin to come to fruition. I believe that there are things that have been laying dormant on the inside of me and I strongly believe that the reason why I had been having an urgency to find a church home towards the end of last year was so those things would birth themselves in the right church - the church that we were purposed to be a part of. In past seasons of my life when I was single, God opened amazing doors that I have walked through and now as a wife and mother, I know that there are new plans and purposes that are meant to be fulfilled [for God] in this season of my life.

Friday night, in front of a large gathering of people {at the church that ours is an extension of}, the guest speaker called Dele and I up to the front and spoke a powerful word over us. Several church members recorded it - how blessed we are to have that video. God used him to deposit some great things into us and speak some amazing things over us - those words brought confirmation, affirmation, and impartation - it was a prophesy that we will never forget...a five minute encounter that officially put our lives on a new course.

All night [after we left the conference], and the next day, I was basking in the goodness of God. It felt as though this conference was purposed just for us. Have you ever felt that way when leaving a church service? As I sat in church that night, I was excited about whose life would be touched in an indescribable way - little did I know it would be OUR lives. The night before one of our worship leaders received a personal word and I was bursting on the inside with happiness for her. It's like when someone becomes saved and enters into the kingdom of God...you rejoice as if it was your brother or sister coming to the Lord. I was looking forward to seeing an impartation being done in someone else's life and rejoicing at how awesome it was that they received what was probably a very on-time word from the Lord. There were probably 500 people attending the conference that night, and only few were called out of their seats - and Dele and I were the only couple. It was our night.

That guest speaker came to our church branch on Sunday to minister and...we received a double portion of God's goodness as he imparted another word into our lives. I hold those words that were spoken over us yesterday, and Friday night, very close to my heart. What a morning. What a conference! The scripture that is now living on the inside of me because of all that was spoken over us is James 1:22 "Be doers of the word, and not hearers only". We are stepping into great things!

Encountering God

Last Saturday our Pastors invited us over for dinner at their home. It’s been wonderful getting to know them outside of church and growing in closer connection with them. It’s so refreshing to be a part of a church in which your spiritual leaders not only lead…but also show their true authentic selves and desire to do life with their church, who they view as a family.

Last Sunday, the message touched on Christians running the race set before them and how Paul was such a great example of that. I only took one note the entire message and it read: “There is always something that wants to pull you away from the priority that you want to live”.

How true is that.

Dele and I sat there both relating to the message as it seems that while although our intentions are good {of wanting to run the spiritual race set before us}, there are so many “things” constantly getting put in front of us…it’s like we stay in the “ready” position…all day. Can you relate? For me, there are multiple tasks that I take on, and sometimes more than one at the same time…the house has to be cleaned, the bills have to be paid, errands need to be done, appointments needs to be scheduled, grocery shopping needs to be done, meals need to be made, laundry needs to be done, my husband needs my attention, my child needs to be happy, friendships need tending to...the list is long.

But truth be told, even with all that there is to do, there ARE pockets of time in the day that time with the Lord CAN happen. We just chose to do other things with that time. Life is not so much at full-speed that we can’t take twenty minutes or so to connect with God – to just stop, and give him our undivided attention – whether that be together as husband and wife or separately. Some days we find the time/make the time, and some days we don’t.

Hebrews 12:1-2 (TNIV)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith…

I also read the same scripture in the New Living Translation, and found it to be perfectly worded for today’s modern time….

Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith…

Just as with any race, it requires commitment….it takes discipline…it takes training yourself into a daily habit that will bring about the results that you are hoping for. If I want to be close to God, then I need to purposely {and purposefully} put myself in the way of having an encounter with Him.

This week, my husband and I are doing just that. And it feels AMAZING to be in/feel the presence of God and be saturated by His love.

I’ve shared that the church we attend is a branch of a larger church that is about an hour from us, in another city. They are hosting a conference called ENCOUNTER that has taken place the last two nights, and it concludes its third night tonight. Last night was phenomenal. It was our first time attending there and wow, it is an amazing church! There were probably 500 people that attended last night’s conference; we all gathered together to have our lives enriched by seeking the Lord in one accord and with open hearts, wanting to be touched by His presence. The guest speaker last night delivered a powerful - yet real and direct – message…and unexpectedly, Dele was used last night, as he called on him to pray for a young man. How awesome!

Had we not have gone to the ENCOUNTER conference last night – had we said we were tired from the long day we had and chose to just relax at home – we would have missed out on God depositing some great things in to us – and Dele would not have been used as a vessel that God worked through. But we made attending this conference a priority…even if it meant that things went unattended as the time came to get ready to go. The house wasn’t perfect when we left; there were dishes in the sink, clothes on our bedroom floor, and make-up and hair brushes and mouthwash that [after they were used] didn’t go back in their rightful place in our bathroom. But such is life. Our hearts were more concentrated on the expectancy that we had for the night ahead.

Whether attending a conference that is an hour from our home, or encountering Him within our four walls, when God is my first priority, I just feel so good inside. This week we have been running our race. We’ve stopped for water a few times - but we’ve kept on going. And let me tell you...having an encounter with God beats doing the dishes any day.

Before I Met "The One"

While although this blog draws in many readers who are married women, I know that there are also quite a few readers who are single and waiting on the one.

I have gotten some emails from some of you over the past few months, and in recent weeks, who have asked me how I curbed my loneliness and remained patient while waiting for God to send me “the one”. This is something that I have never gone in to great detail about on my blog but in wanting this space to also be an outlet for me to share my heart and my faith, I’d like to open up to you….

My first relationship began when I was just a few months shy of seventeen years old. It was to a guy that was around seven years older than me – and while that may sound a bit wild that he was twenty-four and I was seventeen, he was a close family friend and I wasn’t your average seventeen year old. Our relationship was mature and very grounded. I fell so in love with him. He was a Christian, a family guy, super intelligent, had a heart for the Lord, was incredibly talented in the field that he was pursuing – architecture, and we loved one another’s families. He was very good to me and opened my eyes to many beautiful things about life. We dated for two years and then....the break up came. I remember it like it was yesterday. He sat me down on his bed and said that he didn’t want to hold me back from all of the experiences that were awaiting me and that {in a positive way} I would grow and change as I evolved into an older me and he didn’t want our relationship to hinder that growth from happening. I was devastated. His reasoning for dissolving our relationship seemed genuine and selfless - but nonetheless, my heart was broken. I thought that he was the man that I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. We remained friends even after our relationship ended {imagine that! But it was after quite a bit of time a part as to not blur the lines}. We remained in each others lives, as friends {and nothing but} for years…up until his marriage, which happened several years before mine. Naturally, we don’t speak anymore. But I will always remember that relationship as being one filled with good times that I will always remember. And while although I thought he was “the one”…he wasn’t.

The next few years were years that I don’t seem to remember much of because they were comprised of being in a tumultuous relationship with a guy that I wish was wiped from my story book completely. In my early college years, I was with an egotistical, self-centered cheater who caused me a great amount of angst. I stayed in that relationship, against my better judgment, because I thought I could change him. I thought that his eventual willingness to go with me to church would cause a shift in his ways and that he would ask for Christ to come into heart and this amazing transformation would take place in him. But instead of bringing him up to a positive place in his life, he just ended up bringing me down and our relationship kept my heart palpitating wondering which lie he would be telling me next. The things that I went through were mind-blowing… so much so that if I went into details, your jaw would be on the floor – and just might stay that way for days. One day I finally said to myself, “I am better than this” and I ended that relationship. He tried endlessly to get me back – for years – and his attempts were far-reaching…but there was no way that I was returning to that dysfunctional relationship. I had great staying-power and oddly, I loved him unconditionally – but I reached my limit once my self-worth flag popped up. My mom probably has permanent rug burns on her knees for all the months that she took me before the Lord in prayer. When I exited that relationship I felt as though I had been tossed around by a tornado. I knew that I should have never even entered into that relationship – my intuition told me that nothing good would come from it – NOTHING. Needless to say, when all was said and done, I felt mentally battered, emotionally drained and physically exhausted.

A few years later, along came the preacher’s son - who I met during a three night conference that my church [at the time] was having. And wow, was I instantly smitten. Literally the night that I saw him, I felt in my spirit that he was “the one”. He was charming, charismatic, and a total gentleman. He loved the Lord, was actively involved in ministry and our relationship quickly evolved. I took a leave of absence from my job to join him in traveling throughout the southern states, where he was a part of a ministry team. I was excited to be pursuing the things of God, while also growing closer to an amazing man. Just three months into our relationship, he proposed. I said yes and soon after, wedding plans were underway. He moved to California, my Pastor gave him a position as Youth Minister as our fairly large church, and together this was going to be our ministry. Everything happened quickly, but we both felt that it was all in alignment with God’s plan for us. And then a shift suddenly happened. On the way back from transporting his things to California, we had a disagreement that led me to call him up and suggest that we go to premarital counseling. We didn’t speak for nearly a week before I called him to touch base. He told me that he didn’t feel we needed pre-marital counseling because he didn’t think we should be getting married. And just like that, our relationship was done, our wedding deposits were gone, and my happily ever after would never be …and he didn’t seem to even care. I was sick to my stomach. I lost 25 pounds in less than a month. I can’t tell you how many times my mom rocked her grown daughter in her arms as I cried and cried and cried, not comprehending what in the world happened. This relationship was especially hard to move on from because I still had to see him, every Sunday, at church. I questioned God. I didn’t understand the reasoning. I never wanted to go from one relationship to the next. I wanted to be married young. I felt that I was a great partner and that I would make a wonderful wife. And now here I was, on my third unsuccessful relationship. AND THEN…a lot was revealed to me about this man that I was going to marry. The things that came to light are worthy of a CNN special. The details are too much to expound on, but let’s just say that I was SPARED. Looking back, God was completely covering me but at the time, I couldn’t see it. I was just fixated on the hurt and heartache and the confusion and didn’t see/couldn’t see that the dissolve of that relationship was purposed.

When that relationship ended, I pressed in and sought God fervently. In my pain, I wanted to be consumed with His presence. I didn’t want to just have a temporary touch – I wanted to be/felt that I NEEDED to be, submersed in His presence day and night. I wanted His plans and purpose{s} for my life to begin being birthed and I made a choice to draw close to Him like never before. I refocused my thoughts and detoured off of “Why Me? Lane” and onto “Better Things Avenue”. I started an online magazine for Christian youth, I traveled to Haiti to be a speaker with Youth for Christ, I attended numerous Christian conventions, concerts, and conferences…I was in church three times a week, every time the doors were open….and I was reading book after book to strengthen my walk in Christ. I was so on fire for God…for a good few years - until my yearning to be with someone resurfaced.

{Insert here a few half-hearted relationships with men that I knew weren’t the one but for the sake of not wanting to be alone, I attached myself to momentarily. Hey, just keepin’ it real. And then I told myself, “enough is enough”. I felt convicted for returning to the world’s ways and not trusting God and His timing as to when my life-long partner would come. I made a concrete decision to keep my eyes on the Lord and not worry about my future – that the Lord knew the desires of my heart…that I was always on His mind and that His intensions towards me were always good}.

Naturally, the above are short versions of my real-life stories as it would take me months to write out all the detailed things that transpired throughout the course of my relationships and things that took place during those years of my life. But the summarized versions still relay much.

When I moved from California to Atlanta, I was twenty-six years old. I was excited to be in a new place, have a fresh start, and was eager to plant myself in a church home and excel in my new job. I was no longer fixated on meeting “the one”. Instead I was looking forward to seeing all that God had in store for me as I remained consistent in His ways. As it turned out….He did produce the desire of my heart…in His timing. It was Dele. {We met at church; you can go here to read my version, and here to read Dele's version}. Our relationship took quite a while to develop. It wasn’t a relationship that was rushed into. We prayed individually for months, seeking God’s will – not wanting to go further without the Lord’s release. During that time, Dele walked softly and took delicate care of my heart. It was during this time that I read a book called “Boundaries in Dating” and “coincidently” our church was doing a series on courtship. Although I was incredibly anxious to know if Dele wanted to be with me, I stayed in my rightful place as a woman and didn’t initiate the relationship or question his intensions {you have no idea how hard that was!}. Clearly this was something unlike anything I had ever entered into, but I wanted to know for sure that it was the Lord’s doing and that Dele was hearing from Him. It required me to fully trust God and man. Our relationship obviously did end up transpiring : ) I remember one night, sitting on the edge of my bed, questioning if I was in love with Dele. I “knew” what love felt like and what I was feeling for him was so very different. In that moment I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that the love that I had been shown before, in my past relationships, was imitation love. It wasn’t the real, pure thing. That what I was experiencing with Dele was the type of love that the Father has towards me….a lasting kind of love. A love that doesn’t hurt, a love that trusts, a love that is binding. To be loved by a man in a way that God loves me – for him to strive to love me that way – was unbelievable. I had never had it before to know that it indeed was the best kind of love to be given. And…well…you know how this story ends : )

I thought that I would be married in my early twenties. Instead, I got married in my late twenties. Twenty-nine to be exact – there’s no other number more closer to thirty than that – I barely got in there! Ha! But God’s timing…is the right timing. While although I might wish to go back and erase some of the hurt and pain that was endured, to do so would also be erasing some valuable life lessons and the turning points that drew me closer to God.

I want to encourage all you single ladies who are still waiting on the one. Those of you who long to be that couple that you see holding hands. Those of you who watch wedding shows yearning for that to be you. God knows the desires of your heart. Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above {James 1:17}. Trust that He hasn’t forgotten about you. Have faith that He is working things out for your good. I heard a saying once...“When you see the least happening, that’s when God is doing the most work”. Keep seeking Him in all your ways. Keep thanking Him for holding your life in His hands. I know it’s hard to wait. I know what it’s like to settle…to get impatient and force something that you know isn’t meant to be. I have been “that girl” who had one foot in the world, and one foot in church…wanting to follow in God’s ways yet was also following in the world’s ways. And then I became “that girl” who decided to fully trust in the Lord and solely concentrate on what it was that He wanted to do in me, and through me, while I was still single. I wanted to be devoted to Him – and I made the choice to do just that. And when I surrendered, so many wonderful things followed. Don’t lose heart. God was still refining me for Dele, which is why I didn’t meet him earlier. Perhaps God is still refining you. He was polishing me and wanted to present me to Dele as His perfect gift, in His perfect timing.

I know this post is quite long but I didn't want to break it a part into two separate posts. If you've made it this far, I hope that sharing my story has provided you with hope and encouragement. Hold onto 1 John 5:14-15 that says: "This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him".

Lastly, I want to share with you a song by Rita Springer off of her first CD {entitled “Effortless”}. This was a song that I listened to a lot during my “waiting” period, knowing that all of the pain that I had gone through was going to be worth it one day. As you listen to the words of this song below, let them resonate in you. And remember….YOU ARE ALWAYS ON HIS MIND.

Drawing Closer to Him & Christian Daily Devotional Books for Moms

This Sunday at church, we were challenged to increase our communication with God. Whether through prayer, worship, or the reading of His word {whether that means starting to do any one of those things, or increasing in any of those areas}. As I personally know, it is easy to become complacent in our walk with the Lord and stop doing all that we can do to become closer to Him.

Church is known as a place where we can release our stresses, lay down our burdens, refuel our spiritual tank and recharge for the week ahead. Because of the spiritual substance that was poured into us while there, we leave feeling renewed and are excited about pressing forward to see all of Gods promises for our life manifest. While although church can give us so much fulfillment, this is just one avenue that keeps us connected to God; it's not only source that will cause us to know more about Him. Sometimes we can fail to maintain our relationship with God outside of church, where intimacy is created. Just going to church is not enough to grow in relationship with God. Just as in our earthly relationships, where we are present, aware, and concentrated on giving of ourselves...in which our attention in required, and our focus is intentional...our God desires the same from us. And this week, we were called to give Him a little more than usual. A great challenge, that is ultimately to our benefit.

Coinciding with the challenge above, our Pastor announced a new midweek bible study series, that would take place over the next four weeks, every Tuesday morning. I have never been to a midweek church bible study and upon the announcement of it, I felt my spirit being drawn to it. Being able to stay home with Ilah, and now being a part of a new church home, I love that I am able to connect with others in an intimate setting and we go after God together. It's my time/mid-day break, in which I am using it to draw closer to God - without distractions; to exhale from the things that surround me at home, and go to a church home where I can receive, press in, and sit back and feel the presence of God touch me. Today was a wonderful day and I can't wait until next Tuesday!

Aside from committing myself to the Tuesday bible study, I know I need to increase my personal time with the Lord. For several months now I have been wanting to purchase a devotional book specifically for mothers. Today I took some time to go on to Amazon and look at all the books that they offered. Here are some that stood out to me and had really great reviews:

From Top to Bottom:

1.) Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God 2.) Taking Care of the Me in Mommy: Becoming a Better Mom - Spirit, Body & Soul 3.) Prayer Starters for Busy Moms: How to Pray All Day and Still Put the Laundry Away 4.) Grace for the Race: Meditations for Busy Moms 5.) The Busy Mom's Devotional: Ten Minutes a Week to a Life of Devotion 6.) Daily Wisdom for Mothers Devotional Journal

I always like to visit a book store in person to take a peek inside of the books that I am interested in buying to see if I will get a lot from it. I have a few Christian books stores near me, as well as a Barnes & Noble, so tomorrow I am taking the list of books above to see if the store has any of them in stock, and will also see what other Daily Devotional books for Moms they have. I might find one that's not on my list, that I know will nourish my soul and spirit, and be the "must have".

What I am wanting to get out of a Devotional, specifically for Moms, is what is noted in the product description for Ordinary Mom, Extraordinary God:

• Resting quietly in the Lord, even on crazy–busy days


• Being thankful for the duties as well as the joys of being a mom


• Offering God a heart to prune so that it can continue to bear good fruit

This is exactly what I'm seeking for myself.

The Journey of Finding a New Church Home

If you were a reader of my blog while I was pregnant, than you know it was a trying time for me as I was immensely sick. THE ENTIRE TIME. It was both physically and emotionally very taxing on me. I spent nearly every single day in bed with a plastic tupperware bowl next to my bed. Me and that bowl came face to face every morning, every afternoon, every night, and every hour in-between. One time I even ended up at ER. Needless to say, I wasn’t social during my pregnancy. There was no going out and enjoying the beautiful weather. No leisurely strolls through the mall. No taking in lunch with friends. And I wasn’t up for company coming over to the house either. All they would do was watch me hurl. More than not wanting to be seen in that state, I just couldn’t do much else than simply lay in bed. I even kept phone calls with friends to a minimum because some days I barely had strength to even talk. I lost twenty pounds the first five months of my pregnancy because I just couldn’t keep anything down. Getting dressed to go to a Doctor’s appointment required so much effort and hours of advance “mental prepping”. I was always car sick too, so even if I popped a zofran pill {which provided only temporary relief, if any at all}, I was still extremely queasy from the car ride. My entire pregnancy, I never attended church. Well, maybe once.

Truth be told, I started disconnecting from our church before I even got pregnant. There was a turning point for me that made me want to detach from a mega church and return to the familiarity of attending a smaller one in which you felt that you were a part of a family, not a part of the masses. Before I married my husband, he was very active in that church and it was an internal struggle for me to even mention the thought of maybe checking out other churches. But I did. And I was surprised at how receptive he was. He started attending our former church when he was a teenager because that was the church that his Aunt and Uncle went to, and naturally, because he lived with them, he went where they went. While although it wasn’t a church that he chose on his own, he grew in the Lord there and I didn’t know if he was ready to move on from there. I didn’t want him to do it just for me. So we both individually prayed about it, sought the Lord’s guidance and direction, and also discussed it with a couple who were our accountability partners during our courtship. Had we had felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit telling us to stay planted where we were, we would have…but we both felt that our season of being a member there was coming to an end.

And then I got pregnant. And the sickness overcame me. And our church attendance became non-existent. While I would like to tell you that although I wasn’t sitting in a chair in church every Sunday morning, that I still filled my spiritual tank by reading the bible, partaking in daily devotionals, and reading books that were full of spiritual substance, I wasn’t. My relationship with the Lord went stale. My conviction to stay in His word diminished. And while although I would really want to seek Him in amazing times of prayer and worship {even if it was just in the confines of my own home}, I didn’t do it very much. Still, the presence of the Lord never left me and His spirit was always nudging me to press through. But most days I just didn’t. I could see myself becoming less and less of the Christian that I used to be. I wanted to snap out of it. I wanted to truly be the child of God that I was called to be, and have my actions show what my heart was yearning to outwardly express. But day in and day out, I took the easier route. I stayed in bed. I didn’t pick up the bible. And I didn’t actively seek out a new church to try out and possibly join. Pregnancy whipped my butt.

After I had Ilah, and was done recuperating from my c-section, I was able to return to church. But which church? Dele and I would sit in bed and continually talk about the importance of being planted somewhere and not wanting to go too long without being in church, but the weeks and months continued to pass. I just didn’t know where to start.

Church shopping. Oh man. Even with the internet, word of mouth, and various forms of advertising, it’s so hard to find the right one. I was fortunate to have grown up in wonderful churches. My parents were involved in ministry, they went on marriage retreats, were involved in home bible groups, I went to bible camps, we had church picnics, and the congregation identified with one another as family. The pastor and his wife were personable, they interacted with their “church family” and as a child, I could run up to him and give him a hug. You could bring your child into the service with you, if that’s what you wished, and they could fall asleep under the seats, at your feet, and no one would look at you unkindly. You never felt forced to take them to a classroom, because they were unwanted in the main sanctuary {long before I had a baby, that enforcement just grated my nerves. I understand the possibility of a crying baby disrupting people around them, but I have never seen a parent not get up to remove the crying infant immediately. There are various reasons why a parent may want their child to stay close to them, and I don’t think they should have to adhere to the churches “no children in the main sanctuary” philosophy if it makes them, and their child, uneasy}. My mom will tell you that the church days I grew up in were the good ‘ol days. And I have to agree. And I want to raise our child/ren in that similar type of atmosphere. I want our child/ren to look back and have similar wonderful memories of church to cherish like I did, instead of feeling as though while they went to church, they never real felt connected there. I believe in structure, but I also believe in times of flexibility.

Dele and I utilized google and started visiting some new churches that matched our beliefs and the things that we were looking for in a church home. Unfortunately, none were the right fit. And we visited quite a few. We would always pray before going in, that the Lord would open up our heart to be receptive not only to the message, but also to the prospect of this being our new church home. We were so disappointed when, time and time again, we left a church knowing it wasn’t the perfect match for us. We continued to look for that one church that we could root ourselves in and call home.

And then…

Last October Dele visited a church near our home. He went solo because I was down and out with just having had a root canal that had me in so much pain and discomfort. He came home so excited and couldn’t wait for me to go and check it out with him. He said it was a small church, but that the people were diverse, and were so friendly and warm, and the Pastor personally greeted him after service. Based on how Dele was talking, I could see that this place really made an impression on him. A few weeks later, we left the baby with my mom and we returned to that church. And indeed it was small. Very small. But every church has a beginning and clearly we would be a part of this churches beginning and honestly, it was kinda exciting. This church is actually a branch of a larger church in a city in Atlanta {a little less than an hour from us}, so they are connected to Pastors, with a big vision, who oversee a larger congregation. This dynamic essentially gives us a smaller church atmosphere, but access to a large church who has events, conferences, various ministries to get involved in, and many groups to join. Each time we visited this church, we always left with a good feeling. We were always greeted by several people, including the Pastor and his wife, who made it a priority to say hello each and every time they saw us. They even extended an open invitation to lunch anytime our schedule permitted. Being as the building is new, they are still getting the space together, {which makes for such an exciting time when a Pastor sees his vision come to fruition}; carpet has yet to be laid in the children’s rooms, which is the one thing that has made it difficult for us to be consistent in attending this church for the past few months. It’s been so chilly here in Atlanta and we don’t want to put Ilah in a cold room for an hour and a half where she will have to sit on an uncarpeted floor {the Pastors wife was so sweet to recently email me to let me know that they were getting a quote for carpet and that it would be installed soon! Yay!}. My mom is always available to watch Ilah for us on Sundays but I don’t want her to have to do it every single Sunday so for now, we go to church every few weeks. Looking forward to that carpet being installed ; )

Although we are still open to visiting other churches, we believe that we may have found one that is a great match for us. There are so many areas that Dele and I can plug into together, or separately {some of the groups: New Moms Connect, Time with Friends, Games with the Girls, Guys Movies, Couples Traveling, etc}. We’re both looking forward to forming new friendships and being hands on in ministry again. I am excited to see how the Lord will transform our lives this year – what He will do in us and through us. We are looking forward to continuing to grow in His ways!

Why Do You Read This Blog?

I wasn't sure if I was going to continue blogging after I had Ilah. In fact, I even proclaimed in one post that this blog would likely be coming to an end shortly after she was born. But here I am. Still here. And still blogging away.

While many bloggers say that they blog to document their life, my reason extends past that. As my profile says, in part: "...This blog houses my thoughts, highlights things that enthuse me, and showcases images that wow me. I live life to its fullest, have a heart for the things of God, am passionate about traveling the globe, take delight in yummy food, and love a good deep laugh...".

Through my blog, I love sharing all of the above things {everything from my faith, to motherhood experiences, to recipes, to lovely home decor images, to random musings - there are many of those!}. I don't aim to be a popular blogger. I don't sit and think about how to draw in the masses. I don't pay attention to my blogger stats like so many other bloggers do nor do I obsess about my ranking on third party sites. Instead, I sit happily and contently on my [very] small block of the blogging world and enjoy writing away when the urge hits me. And when I hear from those of you who choose to pop by it lets me know that you find my little 'ol blog to be an inviting place. In fact, when I get emails from my readers letting me know how much a certain post really touched them, it's what makes me want to continue to keep this blog around all the more. Because even if I've touched just one person in a positive way, than this blog has served its ultimate purpose.

The blogging community has become a very BIG place. Many people make their rounds and read a significant number of blogs per day. The most I have followed has maybe been five. I know what it's like to invest a bit of your time into certain bloggers and peer into their virtual window and keep up with their life story as it plays out daily/weekly/monthly/yearly. But I don't know how people follow so many blogs! I would get so tired from all that reading! Ha ha!

Some of you are long time readers of my blog, and some of you are fairly new. Some of you comment regularly, some of you comment sporadically, and some of you are closet readers and don't comment at all {I really found that out when I put up a poll about 6 months ago and over 900 individual people answered it. Wow!}. Some of you type in my blog address daily, and some of you just pass through occasionally. Whichever the case may be.....

I'm curious....and would really like to know....

Why do you read this blog? What keeps you coming back?

And is there something that you'd like for me to write more about?

This is my 733rd post. I can't believe I have written that many blog entries. It's certainly been a fun few years using this blog of mine as an outlet for so many various things. I look forward to connecting with you all the more : )