Friday, July 8, 2011

Taking Time For Me - Why Is It So Hard To Do?

A few nights ago, I slept wrong and woke up the next morning barely able to turn my neck to the left. I could feel painful knots in my shoulders and in my back {and then there's the lingering one that is always on my left side because every time I pick Ilah up, I place her on my left hip}. I remembered that about a month ago we each purchased a deal on Deal Swarm, for one chiropractic exam and adjustment, plus a 60 minute deep-tissue massage {we got the deal for just $29; a $139 value}. Now was the perfect time to use it. I scheduled my appointment yesterday evening and I go this afternoon.

Coincidently, yesterday a friend told me that I should take some time to pamper myself. But in all honesty, had I not had that coupon I wouldn't be going for an adjustment and a massage today. Why? Because I put myself on the back burner. And because I'm very conscious about how I spend our money.


We're fortunate that my husband makes a very good income as a Senior Software Engineer. I feel extremely blessed that I am able to be a stay at home mom - and even though we are a one income family, not only are our needs met, but we can also acquire our wants, while also putting away a good amount of money into our savings account every month. Yet even though money is not a factor, I am always hesitating to do even the smallest of things for myself...because I always have our short-term, and long-term, goals in mind - and every little bit adds up.

In the winter I thought about occasionally going to a tanning salon but the cost kept me from following through. I'd love to spruce up my wardrobe and replace my drab duds with more cutesy ones but I get distracted and venture to the children's department and get darling clothes for Ilah instead. I've thought about cutting my hair and getting it colored for summer but I just can't swallow the few hundred dollars that it would cost. My pedicures are months apart {I just end up doing them myself}. And even though a monthly massage seems well deserved, I just don't treat myself to it because of the cost.

I think about the new couches that I'd like for our home, the amazing [out of the country] vacation that we're looking forward to going on, the large down payment that we're planning to put down on our next home, the future cost of private tuition {it will be here before you know it}...and the forever goal of continuing to grow our savings account substantially. I'd rather put the few hundred dollars that I would be using on myself every month towards any of the above things because I feel they are more important.

I know that I am not the only wife and mother who thinks like this and puts their families overall needs before their own. And I also know that there are woman who do put their needs first, because they feel that it's extremely important to do so, even if it means sacrificing in other areas. And that's great too. But that's just not me. It doesn't make me better; it's just my own outlook and personal decision. Every household puts their money toward what they feel it should be purposed for.

Will a haircut and color {$200}, new clothes {$200}, bi-weekly manicures/pedicures {$70}, monthly massages {$80} and a weekly visit to the tanning salon {$35 x 4} remarkably refresh me? Add up those costs and the total comes to $690, tips not included. And at the end of the day, the hair will continue to be put up while the cleaning gets done, new clothes become old clothes soon after the tags come off, the pedicure and manicure doesn't last, the massage feels great in the moment and once it's over - well, it's over, and the tan that you will get from the salon will start to fade in a few weeks time. Personal pampering can be a costly thing, especially if all of those things are done collectively. I do realize that not all of them have to be done at once, or even as often, but it's still a cost when it's all said and done. I'm not at all knocking any woman who chooses to do these things {we all have our own relaxing outlets...mine is an inexpensive bubble bath, in which I use Eucalyptus Spearmint from Bath & Bodyworks}. Do I need - and deserve - more just than just a half hour in the tub with a magazine? Maybe so. But even with my husband encouraging me to treat myself to nice things, the hesitation on my part is always there - and ultimately, just a nice dinner out suffices.

There will be times, like today, when a few hours away to get a massage {with a deal in hand}, will be so, so nice. As will the occasional trip away with girlfriends. And the manicure/pedicure that I decide to get on a whim. Ultimately it's the alone time to decompress that is most important...a trip to Barnes & Noble to skim through books, an hour alone at Starbucks {or anywhere else}, a stroll through the mall without tiny hands grabbing at things. I'm a rather simple girl, who {yes, puts money into making her home nice and loves impromptu lunch dates and dinner dates}, mindfully chooses to forgo all the costly extras that she could put into herself. I believe in everything in moderation, not in excess. And that the things that make me feel good about myself are found in my actions, not in things that can be purchased with cash, debit, or credit.


Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...