I remember when Ilah was a teeny tiny baby, fresh into the world and so small in her first few months of life. Whether I was cuddling her against my chest, cradling her in my arms, lying down next to her, or holding her with one arm while I did something else with the other, I would create special moments just staring at this little baby that God had blessed my life with. I was emotionally overwhelmed, in every thankful way, that Ilah was healthy, and beautiful, and that she was ours. I remember those winter months, when it was brisk outside, but the warmth inside of my heart was indescribable. When I was pregnant we would imagine what our baby girl would look like and be like and envision how our lives would be changed by her amazing little self. My daughter gave my life new meaning. And although a lot of responsibility came with that new meaning, I loved it. And I still do. I want to give her the best of myself every day.
And even though Ilah is not a wee one anymore, and is quite the independent little girl who rarely wants to cuddle up, sometimes she still allows me to hold her close and embrace her in the same loving way that was new to me then, but now is so familiar that I would die without it.
Ilah, I pray that we will always be bonded by the love we share for each other. I pray that we will continue to cuddle up next to each other, no matter the ages we may be. I hope that you will always know how much I love your independence, but I also want you to know that there will be times in your life that you will need your Momma - and I will be here for you, just as your Abuela is still there for me. You need not know of all the sacrifices that I have made for you {before you were born, now, or in the future}; what is more important is you know that any and all sacrifices were intentionally made to put you first, because that is what I always want/ed to do. I will always love you, protect you, and guide you towards being the best YOU that you can be. I want to create a life for you that you will look back on and know that beyond a shadow of a doubt, I strived to give you the best of everything that mattered most. I want to teach you invaluable lessons, and instill in you Godly principals, that will help mold you into being the kind of woman that will be admired. Be thoughtful. Even the smallest of things can make someone's day. Pray...for anything, and about everything. Because you can. You have God's ear. Go with your instinct/follow your discernment. Challenging yourself is a good thing, but also keep in mind that you are not perfect. No one is. Keep that in mind too. Some things you should fight for, other things {including people} are meant to be released. While life is meant to be taken seriously the majority of the time, there are times when you simply need to relax; I want you to find the beauty of getting lost in somewhere new, embrace new changes that will come your way, and simply live it up when the moment presents itself. Be kind. Be positive. And be YOU. Always stay true to yourself.
I will love you forever and ever...and past forever.
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