Questions and Answers, Part 1

I hope everyone had a great Christmas and that the presence of those you love surrounded you! Our Christmas was spent between our families and while it was a great day, we all kept saying how fun next year will be with little Ilah! She will be nearly a year old when experiencing her first Christmas, which is a great age because she will be fascinated by all the decorations, shake her little bootie to fun Christmas songs, and can at least tug on bows and partially rip off wrapping paper! We can't wait for next Christmas!!

In this post I will answer the questions that you guys sent in. I mostly received private emails with private questions so I chose to answer those outside of the blog. Here are the remaining ones:

QUESTION #1

Q: Im 18 weeks pregnant and this is my 2nd pregnancy. My first ended at 14 weeks. I wake up constantly worrying that something will go wrong. I'm always a nervous wreck just before my Dr's visits. We try and cover our baby and ourselves in prayer constantly but the worrying never ends...do you ever worry? How do you stay sane?

A: Before my husband and I got married, we attended premarital preparation classes through our church. One of the areas we covered was family preparation {we discussed when we wanted to begin trying for a baby, what our thoughts were on discipline, balancing home life versus our careers, etc.}. It led us to really pray about our future concerning the transition into parenthood and even before we entered into the union of our marriage, my husband would pray over me and my womb...asking God for an easy and healthy pregnancy, and that He would equip us to be Godly influential parents. We prayed over our children before they were even conceived and realized the great task at hand even before entering into it. We also took a class called Ancient Paths and discovered the vital time in a child's life when the nurturing of a mother is most important and when a father's influence is most pivotal. This class also made us aware of the importance of praying away generational curses before your children are conceived and ushering in generational blessings for the next lineage.

With all this said, when I found out I was pregnant, I did have moments of fear. Even after all of the above preparation. I knew that the first trimester of pregnancy was a crucial stage to pass and I know many women who have had miscarriages. I remember not even wanting to tell our families until I passed the first trimester in fear that I could lose the baby but we found out we were pregnant {just weeks along} right before Mother's Day and I couldn't think of a better gift to give our moms.

I remember inhaling and exhaling a lot during the first few months. What I should NOT have done was research the statistics of miscarriages - because you then become a bit focused on the probability that something that could go wrong rather than focusing on the high percentages of pregnancies that proceed perfectly fine with both mom and baby being healthy. Reading negative stories kept me nervous. I had to change my mindset. So I stopped with the research, stopped dwelling on my fears, and stopped reciting the "what if's" and stopped visualizing painful aftermaths. In itself, stress during pregnancy isn't good. My mom is a great source of encouragement - so whenever I called her and began talking about my fears she would replace my thinking with positive thoughts and bring me back to a stage of excitement and joy about being pregnant. Hopefully you have great people in your life that don't add to your worry but instead, fill you with words of affirmation that add to this exciting time in your life. Those should be the same friends, that if something should go wrong, they are there to pick you up and still fill you with words of peace and encouragement. And then there are those times when you just need to talk to yourself and fill your spirit with confidence that all will be well.

QUESTION #2

Q: What you did as a career before marriage and motherhood?

A: I held a 9 year career in the mortgage banking industry - and literally fulfilled every position as I climbed the corporate ladder at various companies {at 19 I started out as a receptionist at a bank, then became an admin assistant, then a loan processor, funder, underwriter, and then a senior underwriter...my last position was as a Commercial Real Estate Lender}. I also simultaneously fulfilled my passion for writing through a side business that I began 7 years ago, Higher Vision Consulting, where I offered creative writing and marketing services to small-to-large size businesses and individuals.

QUESTION #3

Q: How did you make the decision to stay at home full-time once Ilah arrives? It's an important decision that a women must carefully consider for herself. Is your husband's career flexible where he will be able to offer you support??

A: My husband and I were both on the same page about me being a stay-at-home-mom once we had a baby and began starting our family. While I always knew I would value that time with my children and wanted to put all of my heart into being a hands-on mother and a wife that foremost tended to the needs of her husband and the household, I wondered if being a SAHM was for me. I felt that I would need at least some sort of fulfilling outlet aside from bottles, diapers, and household chores. When I discovered my love of weddings and had the push from so many people to start a business it became the perfect venture to do from home. Peonies and Palettes has already proven to be a gratifying endeavor.

My husband is a Senior Software Engineer for the largest pharmaceutical distributor in North America and the nation's leading health care IT company, with software and hardware technology installed in more than 70% of the nation's hospitals. Conveniently, his office is less than 15 minutes from our home. Great job, great commute! Which means easy access to home, and us having easy access to him - for those times when he wants to pop in and visit us at home or attend Ilah’s doctor visits, or when we want to venture out and have lunch with him!

QUESTION #4

Q: Will your little girl have a Nigerian name? Has your husband told you about the traditional Nigerian naming ceremony and will you be having one?
A: You can read this post as to how we chose our daughter’s name. While I’m aware that my husband’s culture does a naming ceremony, I’m not sure to what degree all traditional practices will be carried out.

I will answer more of your questions this week!