On this date, two years ago, it was the day before my wedding. And the weather today in Atlanta is much like it was then. Cloudy and brisk outside, from rain falling the night before. I remember everything about the days leading up to my walk down the aisle…I was elated, giddy, excited, anxious, and overcome with joy…that in just another 24 hours I would be a bride and marry the man that I had prayed and dreamed that God would send my way.
The very first picture we took together!
Dele and I took part in pre-marital preparation classes, through our then-church, for months before we got married. It helped to lay a strong spiritual foundation, and opened up many lines of communication, that we both believed were imperative prior to saying “I do”. Each week we spent a few hours in a room among our married leaders who kept their marriages very transparent, and kept things very real in their answers to our “hypothetical” questions - many that we have now lived out. They made it easy for us, and our peers, to also show up with our “authentic selves” and leave our “holy selves” at the door. We had homework assignments each week and our “With This Ring” class binder weighed a good five pounds! It was rich in substance, and we got so much out of those classes. 
Our courtship consisted of romantic date nights, spontaneous outings, thoughtful gestures, heartfelt cards, long talks on the phone, and “conversations” not arguments. No matter what it is that Dele and I were doing, we couldn’t get enough of each other. Whether we were dining at a five star restaurant or playing tennis at my apartment…whether grand, or simple…we wanted to be together. Dele would always refer to me as “gorgeous” and I would always mention to him how his eyes twinkled and how I thought how cute that was! I would get butterflies every time he reached for my hand, and when I would send him a long, loving email for him to retrieve while he was at work, he, in-turn, felt the same sentiment. Our love and care for each other was so evident. I felt so blessed to be in a relationship with a man who took such great care of my heart and was always so consistent in his ways. 
I could continue to say a bunch of things in this post that will make you saw “Awww”… ….“How sweet!”….“Aren’t they cute!”… But I interrupt this darling little post to fast forward to marriage and my edition of keepin’ it real….
While although I’m not yet in the double digits of marriage and have yet to join the alumni, marriage to me has meant a plethora of many magnificent things, but it has also meant that one of the keys to a blissful marriage is to be patient, be kind, and be respectful. Some days I find “the key” and some days I “misplace it”. Marriage is indeed wonderfully fulfilling but it also requires A LOT of sacrificing. For me, that means that tending to my needs first isn’t at the forefront of my mind. Every woman has their own order of importance, and for me, taking care of my family [first] is at the top of my priority list. When I got married, and then became a mother, I assumed a role that I felt purposed for. And I want to fulfill that role to the absolute best of my ability.
Which means that…. Marriage in itself has brought me a ton of responsibilities, none of which I take lightly. I want to give my husband and our child/ren a wonderful life and there is a lot that I take on in order to bring that desire to fruition. And also in the same {but different} way, my husband also wants to give us a wonderful life. Biblically speaking, the husband is to provide for the home, while the wife builds the home. My husband is the leader of our home, while I am his help mate. We each take our role seriously. And we each strive to out-serve the other. In the end, this leaves us both feeling very well taken care of.
But with that said….and if I may be so blunt to say: Some days I take total delight in my role within the home, and some days I’d rather do anything but tending to all that that entails.
I’ll even go further and say… There are some days that while cleaning the house, folding the laundry, chasing a 14 month old around, planning out what’s for dinner in my head, getting around to balancing the budget, cutting coupons, meal planning for the weeks ahead, and tending to my mile long list of “things to do”, I have reminisced back to the days of just me…in my one bedroom apartment…picking up fine dining to-go after work, and sinking myself into my comfortable couch where I watch re-run’s of Sex in The City {uninterrupted} and vicariously live through the characters gallivanting through the streets of New York, as carefree as can be. And then POOF.
That was then. This was now. And I love now. Love, love, love now. But the thing about "now" is that it requires all of me, at all times. I was telling a girlfriend a few weeks ago that there’s a reason why companies offer up the typical two week vacation + one week of sick time. You NEED that time. As a stay-at-home mom and wife, there is no such thing. I don’t despise this realization; rather it’s just something that dawned on me recently.
Some days I do everything happily, marveling in how wonderful and blessed my life is and I walk around my home with a smile on my face even though it can’t be seen….and other days my husband’s ears are about to burn off because of the tangent that I just went on about how I can’t even find time to take a bath, that everyone else’s needs come first, and that I’m exhausted from keeping up with it all, and that if he doesn’t take me outside of the four walls of our home this weekend that I’m gonna lose it! Being the even-tempered, mellow person that he is, I am left standing there looking like a raving lunatic, while he comes across as the sweet, ever-present husband who will meet my need, as he always has a listening ear - minus the ability to relate…because, after-all, he has never walked even one day in my shoes. If he did, perhaps his high-strung emotions would shine through too on occasion! Ha! 
If you're happy and you know it, gain some weight!
If you're happy and you know it, gain some weight! Carefree is the best word that I can use to describe how life was “then”. Pre-marriage. Pre-baby. And it’s interesting that when you were living in “then”, you wanted the things that you have “now”. And now that you have been given all those wonderful things, you must implement balance and structure – things that you didn’t have to give a thought to before. And now you must make a conscious effort to carve out time solely for your spouse {because sometimes it does have to be all about you two} and those ever-present distractions need to anywhere but at the forefront of your mind.
While although life has indeed shifted drastically once I got married, and then adding a child to the equation which only amped up the load, I still feel incredibly blessed to be in a relationship with a man who continues to take such great care of my heart and remains so consistent in his ways.
We’re only two years in, with hopefully another 60+ years to go. And I gotta say…despite my tangents {which all eventually pass}, life’s been pretty great and I wouldn’t trade what I have for anything in the world.
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