A Blog Post From My Mother

Today I had a sentimental moment when I reached down to pick Ilah up. I looked at her and just couldn't believe that tomorrow she will be a year old. I admit - a few tears fell. I told my husband over the weekend that I wonder if I will cry on her birthday {I told him I thought it would happen while we were all singing Happy Birthday to her} - but those tears started a little bit early. I have just fallen so in love with this little person who has changed my life immensely.

There is someone else, aside from Ilah's daddy, whose heart overflows with love for Ilah too. My mother. And today, on the eve of Ilah's 1st birthday, my mother will be taking over the post from here - sharing, from her perspective, what it has meant to have Ilah in her life.

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January 12, 2010 I was in the delivery room with my daughter Jessica at Northside Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia, awaiting the birth of my first grandchild. Ilah was born at 4:55 P.M. I was so full of anxiety and could not wait to meet her; wishing my husband Craig, Jessica’s father who passed on, could be there with me to see the birth of our first grandchild. By faith I had to believe he was with her and I in spirit.

It was an awesome feeling for me to be with my child as she was preparing to have her own. In those moments, I found myself thinking back to the day that I was bringing Jessica into the world. Here I was thirty years later waiting to see my first grandchild Ilah LeAnn, come into this world. And when I did! She was so beautiful and perfect! Her skin was clear, face was perfectly rounded and her eyes were mesmerizing as I looked into them. It seemed we connected the moment we looked into one another’s eyes – as if she was saying to me, “I am here abuela!” Through tears of joy I knew this tiny precious baby was going to change all our lives.

My daughter Jessica is now a mother, and I became a grandmother. Becoming a grandmother was the most awesome experience and intense feeling - there is no way to describe it! And there are no words to explain or describe the love I have for my granddaughter Ilah LeAnn. I thank God everyday for her and my daughter Jessica who has been consistent with keeping me involved and a part of Ilah’s everyday life.

Whenever I hold Ilah in my arms, and close to my heart, I want to protect her from the world. Life is full of the good - and the bad - and I think, “there is so much ahead, but your abuela will be there to pray you through.” I prayed for Ilah years before she was to be born and now that she is here, my prayers for her continue and I trust that the angels of God will help her walk through her journey here on earth.


My Dearest Granddaughter Ilah LeAnn,

I am grateful to God that you were born to me and I became your abuela (grandmother.) Your presence has fulfilled my life way beyond what I imagined or expected! Only God can describe what I feel for you. I am hoping the day when you are old enough to read this, it will describe how your abuela feels about you. My message to you is that “I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU, just the way you are. I want you to grow up to be a strong and caring person.

Love God like your mother and abuela does. Always listen to your mother. When she is old, show her your appreciation. Take pride in being a wise daughter-let your mother be proud of you; give her that happiness as she has given me.

May the love of God, the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you.

Con mucho amor {With Much Love},
Tu Abuela {Your Grandmother}
Bernadette Ann