Last month I sat down to compose my list of things to pack in my hospital bag and now I'm at the stage of creating a birthing plan. The only thing is...I'm totally unsure whether I want to take the time to write one out. Why? Realistically, are my preferences really going to be followed by hospital staff? I'm sure Doctors and nurses find birth plans annoying {here comes another mother with her 7 page birth plan that I need to flip through} and ultimately, especially in the case of an unforseen emergency, adjustements are going to need to be made and the mothers preferences will be trumped.
My type A personality really wants to delve into writing out a detailed birth plan but the common sense side of me says it's a waste of time. I've taken to researching birth plans and holy toledo are they lengthy!! They also need to be well thought out. But instead of typing up a birth plan that is as lengthy as one of my former college term papers, I figure that I can certain use my mouth to express my preferences {ie: I'd like to walk around during the first part of my labor or I would like an epideral NOW, I want my husband to stay the night with me} rather than asking the nurse if she has read the manual that I gave to her which she surely wanted to ditch in the trash as soon as she recieved it. Granted, not all Doctors or nurses feel this way - I'm sure there are many who gladly want to ensure they are meeting the preferences of their patients. And that's the team of people that I'm praying for - a sensitive, well educated, friendly, supportive and wonderful nurse staff who make my labor experience a calm and comfortable one and asks me questions {related to what my preferences may be} as I take on the grueling battle known as labor and delivery.
But here is proof that some hospitals don't agree with taking specialized care out of their hands and into your own:
Posted on this blog
Should I deliver on my due date, I will have trusted my Doctor to care for me and my unborn child for 9 months. Reversing rolls and telling him what to do when delivery day comes just seems a bit odd to me. This is my first time having a baby; how do I really know what's best when it comes to fetal monitoring, how long I should keep an IV in, the number of vaginal exams I should have along the way, and if an episiotomy is necessary?? If our baby is in distress, our Doctor won't be flipping through my birth plan to see what my preferences are; he will take control of the situation {as I would want him to} and do whatever is safe for the baby. The birth plan goes out the window. As stated in one article I read, "If you close your mind to what may need to be done to save your life or the life of your baby and these procedures become necessary, you may suffer anxiety and disappointment in yourself for not having provided what you felt was best for your baby. You may feel a sense of failure {for wanting to stick to your birth plan to a tee}. You should feel euphoric at the birth of your baby. Do everything possible to prepare your mind for all options...".
Ultimately there are only 3 plans:
Natural childbirth
Epidural childbirth
C-section
So in essence...can a birth really be planned?
Ultimately I may draw up a birth plan that may only note preferences that I may forget {such as a certain pain medication that I do NOT want given to me that will make me too drowsy to enjoy the exhilaration of bonding with my newborn} rather than the things that I know I will verbalize {ie: I'd like water to be available to me during labor, I'd like to take a bath to help ease my pain}. My husband, as well, will definately be expressing his/our wishes along the way {should a c-section be required, he will be with me at all times, he will hold the baby when she first comes out, be present with the baby when the pediatrician visits and conducts tests, etc.}. After taking our hospital tour this weekend we have a really good insight into what the step-by-step procedures will be should a vaginal birth go well and I am confident that my husband will be great on the day-of.
Should I decide to proceed with writing up a birth plan it will ultimately be my wish list. If followed, great. If not, I won't be ticked. I'm thinkin' that flexibility is key. More than wanting the lights dim during labor I just want to be told that when I push out our baby girl that she has ten fingers and toes and is perfectly healthy in every way. If I have a vaginal tear along the way, so be it.
Perhaps my birth plan should just state:
Please make it stop hurting
Please just get this baby out and then tell me all is well with both her and I....and that I performed like an all-star {even if I moaned and cried through the whole entire thing}
Please pass rounds of champagne, and chocolate covered strawberries, in celebration
As a first time mom, I'm not saying that birth plans should not be done nor am I saying that it's imperative that they should. Perhaps it will take experience with delivering my first child to know what I really want in a birth plan with my second. I have my 32 week visit with my Doctor on Thursday and I will be asking for his feedback on birth plans. I'm really interested in hearing what he has to say about them.
Here are some articles on Birth Plans, that if you are an expectant mother, you may want to read:
Go here to read a birth plan written by a nurse as she prepared for the birth of her baby. It's quite amusing!
Birth Plan VS Reality
Here is a great birth plan from The Bump {a nurse actually commented on it by saying, "I understand a birth plan but as a labor and delivery nurse I will ask you all of these questions before anything happens. I will not force things on you that you do not want, you will have a voice"}. This is one of my reasons for thinking that birth plans, in part, may not be entirely necessary.
Here is another birth plan template.
And here is one that covers practically everything you can imagine!
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