Are You a Paranoid Parent?

When I was pregnant with Ilah, my mind ran rampant with a million “what if's”. Just ask my husband – or my mother – the two people in my life who act as my sounding board.

I can’t count how many times I inhaled and exhaled during my pregnancy {it never really brought ease; but prayer definitely did…until I got back on the worry train the next day…. or just a few hours later}. I worried about the possibility of a miscarriage…I worried about my child being born with a condition or a deformity that went undetected in my ultrasounds….I worried about our baby being born stillborn {a few days before giving birth to Ilah, I didn’t feel her kick at all for most of the morning and I got so scared}….I worried that upon delivery of our baby that she would have to suddenly be swept away to the NICU….the list goes on. And really, it goes oooon.

You would think that once I held my beautiful, completely healthy baby in my arms, and finally saw that all was more than well, that my paranoia would have subsided. But it didn’t. Because for me, a whole new set of worries set in after birth. Everything from the big {the fear of autism} to the not so big {wondering if I was buying “the best” baby gear} made its way into my worried little head. And don’t get me started on how petrified I was of SIDS.

With each passing phase of fears, the former ones were replaced with newly developed ones. And I have noticed in the past several months that things have gotten increasingly worse. The things that I have visualized potentially happening to Ilah are just too horrific to write out.

I was a paranoid parent before my child was even born, and yes, I am still a paranoid parent today. Thus, reading the book “The Paranoid Parent’s Guide” REALLY helped me put MANY things in perspective. So much so that if I truly exercise the things outlined in this book, I will be well on my way to being a “Recovering Paranoid Parent” : )

In the author’s own words, she says, “I would love to say that this book will stop you from worrying. But let’s be realistic: would anything ever completely stop you from worrying about your kids? This is a book about how you can worry less”. When I read that I felt like, “she gets me”! I appreciated that I wasn’t being told to suppress my worries or that I was wrong for feeling them. But rather that I didn’t need to make them my focus and concentrate on every little unlikely thing that “might be”. The author of this book aims to help you determine what's really worth the worry.

The subtitle of “The Paranoid Parents Guide” is “Worry Less, Parent Better, and Raise a Resilient Child”. In chapter one, the author {who by the way, is a mom herself - to 4 children} is right on when she says, “the book may say that it’s about raising resilient children, and I hope that will happen. But first we need to become resilient parents”. She goes on to say that, “Real and perceived dangers will happen. The unexpected presents itself daily. How you experience those scares, threats, and false alarms makes the difference between a happy parent and a totally overwhelmed or over worried one”.

One thing, among many things in this book, that stood out to me was the follow two sentences that I will always remember:

“Your worries are not safety shields. If you worry “enough,” your child will not be protected by an invisible force field”.

Sarcastic line? Maybe. But it really made me “get it”.

I used to think that the worry and fears that go round and round in my head was because Ilah is my first child. But something tells me that based on how spastic I have been about so many things, that I will likely face the same bouts of paranoia with our future child/ren to come. Despite my fluctuating anxiety, I consider myself a pretty easy going mother {I have the quiz from Parents magazine to prove it! Ha!}….however, this book has REALLY opened my eyes as to how to be prepared, instead of being paranoid.

This book certainly did its job if giving me a bit of a reality check and I just love that the author backs up so many of her points with actual statistics.

Now instead of saying, “I just can’t help it. I’m a mom who worries”. I can now say, “I am being more conscious of adjusting my parenting mindset to keep my fears in alignment with reality”.

Last night my husband and I were watching Hillsong TV and I wrote down one particular line in the message preached by Pastor Brian Houston: “Always believe the best for the future”. I think that’s the best piece of advice I could give to any paranoid parent, like myself.

Disclaimer: This book was provided to me courtesy of TLC Book Tours free of charge in exchange for a review, however, that did not influence my personal review of this book.

GIVEAWAY!

Would you like your own copy of The Paranoid Parents Guide? All you need to do is leave a comment letting me know how it would benefit you to have this book on your shelf! Note: 1 entry per person. If you leave more than one comment, only your first comment will count.

This giveaway will end on Friday, October 29th. The winner will be posted here, and will also be emailed - so be sure that you have a valid email address on your blogger profile or relay it within the comment section. The winner will have 48 hours to respond, or another winner will be chosen.

Giveaway open to US/Canada only.
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For more information about Christine Barnes, Author of “The Paranoid Parents Guide”, check out the following:

The author writes and blogs here.

The Paranoid Parents Guide is for sale on Amazon here.