Dream Interpretation, Part 2

Sorry it took me a few days to delve into part 2 of my dream interpretation. For those of you that have been interested in reading the follow up to part 1, sorry to leave you hanging! I’ve been pretty busy and haven’t been able to devote time to sitting at the computer to write out the following.

To cut right to it….

The frequency, and consistency, in which I seek the Lord [independently] has greatly decreased from what it used to be. As a result, I feel “off” in my relationship with God and I’m yearning to regain the closeness that I used to have with my Heavenly Father.

Yes, my husband and I pray together and I/we spend lots of time depositing God’s love into Ilah, but truthfully, my time with the Lord nowadays is based on when it’s convenient for me. It comes after I've gotten around to doing many things that are far less important – if it even comes at all that day.

I won’t make the excuse that tending to my baby, and keeping up with our house, is such a big undertaking that it prevents me from having an hour or two each day with the Lord. That’s just not true and isn’t at all the reason for my spiritual shift. Dishes can wait to be done, laundry can wait to be folded and Ilah isn’t awake every hour requiring my undivided attention. Certainly I consider these things a priority, but the fact of the matter is that I’ve inadvertently moved “alone time with God” way down on my list of “things to do” and have made it an option, rather than a requirement.

Years before I moved to Atlanta and met my husband, God was really doing a work in me and was refining me in so many ways. During this time I was pressing in for as long as it took to get a breakthrough, and I was seeking God for answers – and for resolutions. I would spend hours enthralled in worship and prayer and would feel the presence of the Lord so mightily during these intimate times that I was certain this is what the throne room of God must feel like. My walk with the Lord was diligent. I felt more than fulfilled. And I wanted more – and more – and more – of the things of God. I craved it. And I sought to obtain it. From the inside out, I wanted to feel, and reflect, God’s amazing goodness.

There was nothing more important than giving my all to God.

Now I also have to give my all to things that weren’t there a few years ago. A husband and a baby.

God should always be first. I know that. But truthfully, that’s not the order that I’ve been putting things in these days.

I have settled on being content - not at all where I want to spiritually be, because it means that I’m not growing. I want to always have an incredible love affair with the Lord and mature in His ways. There’s just no other feeling like it. To regain where I once was spiritually {and go even beyond it}, I know have to put God back in His rightful position - first in my life.

The Holy Spirit has greatly been at work within me – even in my dreams. As I studied about the Holy Spirit on Saturday, I was reminded of who He is: The Holy Spirit is the bridge to God within you. It is the part of your mind—the part of your Spirit—that is joined with the mind of God. By creating the Holy Spirit, God instilled His voice into each of His children and provided a way in which they always remember the truth of who and what they are. The Holy Spirit's function and purpose is to bring God’s Voice to each of God’s children….guiding them, directing them, loving them, and restoring their thinking to God's. It is not possible for the Holy Spirit to judge you in any way because this part of God can only see the truth of who you are and not who you think you are {taken from The Voice of Love}. It was so refreshing to be reminded of that.

Undeniably, whether awake – or asleep, the Holy Spirit is drawing me back to the heart of God. As I shared with you about the dream that I had a few weeks ago, it concluded with me making sure that as I plummeted to my death, I repented to God while I still had life and breath within me. As I was preparing for the moment of my death, I knew that I had been living a life of a lukewarm Christian. Knowing that I was going to die, I had an inner fear of not knowing if I would gain entrance into heaven when my spirit left my body. These feeling translate into the uncertainty that I have been having lately as I know what God’s word says about being lukewarm {Revelation 3:16 - So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth}. Not having total confidence that, if I were to die today, I would spend eternal life in heaven makes me undoubtedly unsettled. Yes, I know what John 3:16 says { For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life} and what Romans 10:9 says {If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved} but I don’t want to just rely on my salvation as being enough. I want to enter heaven knowing God - and his son Jesus Christ.

The Lord is amazing, and He has done SO MUCH in my life. He has truly been a father to me {Psalms 68:5}...He has sheltered me, protected me, vindicated me, has poured out His favor upon me and has opened so many doors that only He could. He has been my healer, my source of strength and has been my ever present help in time of need. He has given me my hearts desires – in His perfect timing – and I have so much to be thankful for. I am abundantly blessed and don't take one thing for granted.

Clearly in the middle of the night, a few weeks ago, my heart yearned to feel close again to my Heavenly Father. There is a song by Misty Edwards {called I Am Yours} that beautifully encompasses how I’ve been feeling since I woke up from that dream. I was hoping to find a video online of Misty Edwards singing this song – I did find a youtube video but it’s to a slideshow of images. I’m posting it below for you to hear and have also posted below the video, the lyrics to the song}.

I AM YOURS

By Misty Edwards

Though I sleep, my heart is awake
Though It's night, on You I wait

(repeat)

It's been a long night, and I am weary
It's been a long time, and I am hungry
So I'll wait in the stillness again
I'll wait in the quiet again
For when I heard Your voice
When You said my name
When I heard Your voice
My heart it yearned

(repeat)

In the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
In the middle of the night
My heart it yearns

(repeat)

Though You're far away, still I'm here to say
I am Yours, I am Yours
And when You feel so far away, still I am here to say
I am Yours, I am Yours

(repeat)

And I pay my vows, no turning around
I burn the bridges that can't be found

(repeat)

For when I heard Your voice
And You said my name
When I heard Your voice
My heart it yearned
For You.

Deuteronomy 4:29 - But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find Him if you look for Him with all your heart and with all your soul.